Feeling uncomfortable about customer interviews? Tips for anxious product managers on making interviews easier

Product Director Marta Rolak shares some techniques she finds useful to overcome anxiety when interviewing customers

No more excuses. How to overcome shyness and get customer feedback today.

Years ago, as a student, I would dread each time I had to meet any of my professors to discuss the progress of my dissertation, exam results or academic plans for the future. My dread did not stem from my performance because I was doing well academically. Instead, it was for what now seems to be a ridiculous reason: a closed door.

Most of my professors had their own offices and their office doors were usually closed. I had to knock or ring a bell, and wait for them to answer the door before I was allowed in. The closed door was making me feel anxious: I was worried I would disturb them, maybe interrupt an important conversation with another student or with another professor. Was my dissertation important enough to justify the intrusion?

I realise now that the reason I found it so uncomfortable was a fear of being rejected. This fear was a much more formidable barrier than a closed door!

Why did I feel this way? Why did my hands shake, and what did I have to overcome?

Definition of shyness

The American Psychological Association defines shyness as “(…) the tendency to feel awkward, worried, or tense during social encounters, especially with unfamiliar people. Severely shy people may have physical symptoms like blushing, sweating, a pounding heart or upset stomach; negative feelings about themselves; worries about how others view them; and a tendency to withdraw from social interactions.”

Back at uni, I eventually learned to manage and overcome my anxiety. What worked best for me back then was imagining the worst possible rejection scenario, like a professor responding in an angry or impolite way. I’d then knock on the door feeling prepared. Sometimes I’d hear “Please come in!” loud and clear, other times I was asked to come back later. I don’t think anyone ever made me feel unwelcome – even if they did, I clearly no longer remember it. The point is, the more often I put myself in those situations, the less frightening I would find them.

Years later though, after I ventured into product management, I found myself facing a potential rejection again. I quickly realised the single most important thing for a product manager to do was to talk to customers. I knew I’d have to actively reach out to people I didn’t know well and ask them to spend some time with me. And, once again, I felt terrified. I’d have to knock on the door again…

Why it can be scary to approach customers

Talking to customers not only means you need to contact people you don’t know and who don’t know you, which can be difficult enough for anyone who is shy and/or introverted. It also means you need to ask the person to spend a significant amount of time with you; a customer interview is not a one-minute chat. It has to be long enough for you to be able to ask a few questions and for them to tell you a few stories. Let’s face it, you’re asking your customer for a favour, and maybe that’s after they’ve already had to pay for the product!

The very idea was making me uncomfortable and, again, I was scared of rejection. I was worried my “Hello” would be met with a frosty frown and that customers would let me know how big of a nuisance my interview invitation was for them.

The first thing I tried was… avoidance. After all, I ran surveys, I regularly read user research reports and market research reports, this should give me enough intelligence, right?!

When I finally accepted that it wasn’t enough and that finding a way to speak to customers was the single most important thing for me to do, I had an epiphany.

4 tips for shy product managers

My epiphany was the realisation that I could approach the problem in a “product” way: I could start small and run a few experiments before making a bigger commitment. Here’s how:

1. Proof of concept aka mock interview with a friend. It’s like a guerilla test with someone who you know won’t be judgemental, who wants to help you out and who will be able to provide some constructive feedback to help you further. It’s a fun way to practise your interview skills and gain your first interview experience.
2. Beta release aka leverage your network. First find real customers to interview within your extended circle. Maybe a friend of a friend is actually using your product. Perhaps your sibling’s girlfriend knows someone who could be your target audience. This is a great way to practise and develop your skills further; since you’ll be talking to someone who’s in your network, chances are this will be a friendly soul. Just knowing that should help you reduce your fear of rejection.
3. Product launch party aka tag-team. For your first stranger customer interview, bring a colleague with you. Maybe it’s a UXer from your team or another product person who’s been talking to customers for a while. Tag-teaming with someone you know will help you feel more confident.
4. Test and learn aka practise, practise, practise. The more often you do it, the easier it will become. If you ever have a moment of doubt, try imagining the worst-possible scenario as I did back at university. This should help you lower the anxiety enough so that you can knock on the door (or join the Meet!).

Interviewees want to be interviewed

Remember, the people you are interviewing are willing participants. They want to talk to you and share their thoughts, whether it’s to give feedback on the product or because of a thank-you voucher they’ll receive in return.

By using the techniques mentioned earlier, you can overcome your fear of rejection and confidently open the closed door, approaching your customers for an interview. Before you know it, you’ll be looking forward to your customer interviews.